 Difficult conversations. Just the thought of them can make us uneasy. We often avoid them like the plague, hoping problems will somehow resolve themselves. But here's the thing: avoiding conflict is not like aging wine; it doesn't improve over time.
When you're gearing up for a tough talk, ask yourself: What's my intent? What's my hope? These questions might seem straightforward, but I urge you to delve deeper. If your intent is to prove the other person wrong and force change, you're already off track.
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 People are often swamped, juggling demands at work and home, wishing for more time. But is more time really what they need?
Consider this scenario: You arrive home to a mountain of tasks, yet you find yourself sinking into the couch for a Netflix marathon. Hours evaporate. You had time, but what you lacked was the energy for anything more than a mental escape. It's a common way to "turn off" and unwind, but what if you had the energy to engage in more fulfilling activities? Why are we so drained at the end of the day?  I often hear people talk about suffering from imposter syndrome. But let's pause and dissect this for a moment.
Imposter syndrome often comes with a feeling of shame. It's that nagging feeling of, "There's something wrong with me for feeling like an imposter." But here's a thought: what if we've been looking at it all wrong? What if, instead of labeling ourselves as 'suffering from imposter syndrome,' we reframe it as, "I’m having an experience of feeling like an imposter"?  The other day, my 19-year-old daughter accused me of invalidating her feelings. Let's rewind a bit for context. She expressed a desire for something in her life, and as her mother, I instinctively felt it wasn't the best for her. But her point was striking: it wasn't about the future possibility of changing her mind; it was about being heard and validated in the present moment.
She was essentially saying, "You're not hearing me." This got me thinking. As a leader, how often have we dismissed someone's ideas because they didn't align with our own? How often have we, perhaps unintentionally, made someone feel smaller, unheard, or invalidated?  Conflict as a Catalyst for Transformative Growth
The mere mention of conflict often evokes a sense of dread. Yet, conflict isn't inherently negative; it's simply change knocking at the door. The stress arises when parties are entrenched in their viewpoints, unable to hear each other. The Space Between Stimulus and Reaction In both professional and personal settings, I view conflict not as an obstacle but as an opportunity for transformative growth. The first step is to create a pause between stimulus and reaction. This brief moment allows you to respond constructively rather than react impulsively.  The Be-Do-Have Paradigm: A Symphony for Mindful Living and Leadership
You might find yourself buying into the belief that if you acquire this or that, you'll be happy, accepted, loved, beautiful, successful, etc. When you're not busy accumulating, you're likely busy doing. Sometimes, there’s even a level of pride in sharing how busy we are. Leaders experience another layer of complexity, often sandwiched between keeping management or the board happy and employees happy. The pressure is immense and making good decisions is hard when distractions are never-ending, and the pressure to always be "on" takes a personal toll.  For some, the concept of "leadership at home" might sound peculiar, as many view leadership only in the professional domain. But that depends on your definition of leadership.
 The Power of Vulnerability
Dusk is setting earlier in the day and there's a crispness in the air. It is fall and school has been in full swing for a month. In the same vein of learning, I am launching my blog. Welcome. When I launched my coaching and consulting firm, the plan was simple: write biweekly articles and share them on LinkedIn. But somewhere along the way, vulnerability crept in, and I hesitated |